Jewish Update from a Goyeh.

Greetings all! In the midst of exams, I bring you this lovely post that was spurred on by many events--Jewish-related events. I was going to start on a serious note but it's too sad, so I will begin with all the sniplets I have collected and end on a serious note.
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The National Union chairman Ya'acov "Ketzele" Katz sent a letter last week to Rahm Emanuel reminding him that he is an "Israeli Jew". Rahm, not wishing to appear rude, sent a response letter immediately along with a small gift. The letter read: "Gai tren zich" Love, Rahm ISRAEL Emanuel. The package contained a picture of a dead fish with a caption saying "You're not worth the postage money for a real dead fish."

Katz had also compared Rahm to the biblical character Esther, who influenced the Persian King Ahashverosh to intervene on behalf of the Jews of the Persian Empire. A White House official who wished to go by the name of "Captain Axeman" leaked to the press a video tape that contained a conversation between Mr. Emanuel and the President:

Rahm: "That [bleep]-er compared me to Esther for [bleep]'s sake!"
POTUS: "You should be honored that you're worthy of a biblical reference."
Rahm: "Esther is a [bleep]-ing chick!"
POTUS: "It's those slender hips of yours."
Rahm: "You did NOT just [bleep]-ing refer to my [bleep]-ing hips as slender"
POTUS: "Don't get your tutu in a knot, Twinkletoes."
[Giggling is heard in the background]
Rahm: "AX YOU ARE [bleep]-ING DEAD!"
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Chief Strategist David Axelrod shot down critiques of Obama's warmth towards hostile Latin America by saying: "I think what has happened is that Anti-Americanism isn't cool anymore." Chavez, having received his 'cool'-memo days in advanced, quickly crossed off "Hate America" from his daily "To-Do" list and practiced his 'hipster' handshake and smile combo hoping to impress President Obama.

An attendee of the event told the press that Mr. Obama was smiling and laughing because "Chavez shook Obama's hand and said 'Whazzup amigo?'"
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At the UN conference on racism, President Ahmadinejad of Iran said Israel was "a totally racist" regime, which prompted many European ambassadors to storm out and protesters to call him a racist. What these people didn't know was that Ahmadinejad had recently learned it was 4/20 so he lit one up quickly and proceeded to the podium with a swagger. What he meant to say was that Israel was totally rad and that he was totally stoned.

This almost Freudian slip was saved by marijuana; Ahmadinejad has to toke to that.
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Now a completely serious note:

On this 27th day of Nisan, beginning at sundown, the Holocaust Remembrance Day, Yom HaShoah, will be observed in memory of the 6 million deaths during the Holocaust. Yellow candles are lit to keep the memories of all those victims alive.
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Have a good week everyone and after my last exam this Saturday, you'll hear more from me! In the mean time, Ciao!

- Franny.

(Note: Google the Yiddish words)