Instead of Scrolling Sideways...

…You can scroll downwards! I’m, of course, referring to the ticker that appears on the bottom of the screen on news programs. You know, that thing you can’t stop reading when Beardy Wolf Blitzer, Potato Head Chris Matthews, or Bigger Potato Head Papa Bear Bill O’Reilly is ranting about…whatever they rant about. I don’t know what they’re going off about because I’m reading the ticker! So here’s the top stories you should know about but shouldn’t be debating about with your professor unless you do further reading! I’m just going to give you a taste and if you don’t like it, spit it out.

Which story will you be talking about tomorrow?

Countdown #5

I was hoping that the Blagojevich and Rahm situation would have died by now (like the Auto Bailout *zing*) but it’s been a very slow few days news-wise so the media has been clinging onto it like a safety blankie. Well, tough luck guys because President-elect Obama has denied any wrongdoings on his part, Rahm’s part, or his staff’s part. When did he do this? When a reporter from NPR, yes, I said it, the National Public Radio, asked Obama about said situation during his Green Team designations conference. NPR has no agenda against Obama (or any agenda for that matter) so why did this guy ask it at such an unnecessary time? Most likely for the attention from not the President-elect, but Mr. Emanuel himself…and he wants a dead fish for reasons I do not know nor do I want to speculate on. Wow that was long! Moving on!

Caroline Kennedy, the daughter of JFK *swoon*, is, as NBC has confirmed (well if they say it’s true…), seeking soon-to-be Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s previously held senate seat in the state of New York. Why do we care? Well, we don’t really but apparently it’s a big deal? Her last name IS Kennedy and all…and her opponent could be The Nanny (please don’t tell me you’re too young to know what I’m talking about). Cat fight much? Puh-lease! The real fight is coming from Rep. Gary Ackerman (D-NY) who compared Kennedy to ‘J-Lo’. Oh no he didn’t! J-Lo? I just received his cable bill and the only channels listed are C-Span and Latin MTV. Ok, that one sucked but you should hear the ones on MSNBC, they are fart bombs!

SNL’s sexy Fred Armisen is under fire for doing an impression of legally-blind Gov. David Paterson of New York. He, personally, wasn’t too hung up on it but did say, “The perception that disability equals inability to be responsible is totally wrong.” Ok, that’s fair. But why else does this matter? Well, it doesn’t. Why am I even writing about this story? All I have to say is that I love SNL and I love Fred. So shut up media and watch me kill this story. ---------- ← That’s the story flat lining.

I don’t even know how I managed to get 3 stories to talk about, but I did it so suck it monkeys! *cough* I actually have something quite serious to talk about. I wasn’t going to say anything because if I didn’t, no one would know. But my future press secretaries, Benny and Frangelica, insisted that I do, so I must comply. I had my Psychology test today quite early in the morning (I had to wake up at 5am) and I would say I was somewhat prepared for it. There were many questions I didn’t know the answers for but one of them was to do with “the size of the word not corresponding with its meaning” (in my words). I, not knowing what else to do, guessed and put ‘independent’ in the blank. What was the word? ARBITRARINESS. Yes, I am thoroughly embarrassed and I encourage all to laugh at my stupidity (and if you don’t get it, look at the blog name…idiot). *Is shamed* *Not shoe in the face shame* *But I must admit that’s damn impressive on Dubya’s part* *The most impressive thing he’s done in the past 8 years?* *Nah I wouldn’t say so* *Yes, I like Bush.* *And yes, I like Obama* *No I’m not a Democrat* (That’s just a sneak peek into my psyche)

Is that a sufficient post? Good because I’m returning to my West Wing. Ciao.

- Franny.